Use Bombs

My brother Arison and I hold opposing views on many topics — for example, he loves to rock. I, on the other hand, greatly prefer to roll.

For many months, my abilities to roll have been at a standstill. My fragile arms and delicate physique have kept my rolling urges as nothing more than an elaborate dream. Lucky for me, video games have come to the rescue once more.

You may be able to imagine the look of confusion and doubt in Bova’s face when I showed him Katamari Damacy. “It’s a game about rolling stuff into a giant ball—I’m going to buy it.” To say the least, the explanation was not credible.

I should have told Bova that the game was about the King of the Cosmos and his son, the prince. I should have tried to explain how nonsensical it is and let him know that an Esperanto reference is included.

Of course the gameplay is very solid as well — it involves rolling a katamari around grabbing small objects, such as buttons and candy. As the size increases, a person can affix their katamari to people, cars, and elephants. Tight spaces and barking dogs attempt to stop you from getting to a specific size within a set time limit.

It took sitting on the couch, listening to the musical score and watching the rolling madness to understand how fun and crazy this game really is. The soundtrack alone is wonderful and complements the joy of the game in the most eccentric of ways. There was no point in the game where the music or sounds did not appeal to any person I know.

The visuals are colorful and appealing, not to mention fun. The blocky style is unique and visually stimulating. This is the type of game where the style lever is cranked so far into overdrive that adding things like bump-mapping and fancy lighting effects would only seem to hurt it.

I literally couldn’t put the game down and as a result had it finished the next day. I won’t kid you, it’s short. However, if you like to collect things, find secrets, and set records this gives the game a bit more sticking power.

This is sheer joy and I can’t wait for the sequel, scheduled to debut October 3rd.

My order has been placed…

…when it gets here, I will be a happy Stalin.

My death entertained many people today — after I was shot while robbing a jewelry store that is. It’s a somewhat long story, but you may rest well with the knowledge that next month we’ll be pirates.

As for the issues with the small text, I’m working on it. I hope to have the second version of this theme posted by the end of the month. It should make things more accessible, with CSS allowing for preferences to be saved and such. This feels like an attainable goal to me, however, many goals feel attainable when drunk.

Currently, I’m working on a revised knowledgebase site for work. I hope that much of my code can be cannibalized into a solid update. This should be a far improvement over trying to create the HTML and CSS with black magic, which didn’t turn out quite as well as I had hoped.

After many interruptions to last night’s fireworks, I know now why Dave Chapelle did not want to release another season of his work.

The blame lies solely on people like this. These people are not very important by themselves, but as a group make up a startling majority. These are the ones that spew forth stupid lines, like bullets from a machine gun.

Many quotes are from television, such as “What,” “yeah,” and the always delightful “I’m Rick James Bitch!” Other lines are carried to their lips, as if on the wings of stupidity. These wordplays include phrases like “Play Freebird!”

I believe that Dave knew something, only a handful of people know. His continued creation, coupled with the ignorance cited above, would cause humanity to crumble in an ostentatious fashion.